Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Doctor Doctor - Give Me The News

I know most people can't say that they are excited to see the doctor...But I was.  I was SO excited in fact, that I had a completely different blog post already written, in anticipation for this visit.   Let's just say...this visit...didn't go as planned.


Well aside from being sick with a cough for 3 weeks and needing refills on my prescriptions, I wanted to be able to "OFFICIALLY WEIGH-IN" on a medical scale...And possibly have the chance to brag a little about how much weight I have lost. 

I didn't want high-fives...or a parade ... BUT I DID want something other than what I got.

"Hmmm You're overweight" The DR says as she walks in the room....(no --'hi... how are you?')  "Are you watching your saturated fats...?"


My heart sank.

"Have YOU looked at your charts Doc.?  What is the last weight you have?"

She tells me 203.

Then tells me that according to the "Ideal Weight/Height Chart" I was still considered "overweight"...and that "I had a ways to go".....

COMPLETELY missing the fact that I was 80 pounds lighter than the last time I was seen.

I'm sorry....But my balloon was deflated!

I know it's not the doctors job to make me feel better about myself....

Wait.  YES IT IS!  That's what we PAY them for!

I couldn't believe it.  I was crushed....Hurt....and feeling like ALL THAT HARD WORK I WAS DOING DIDN'T MATTER.

(I know it DOES matter...But the doctor got me to a place I never wanted to be)

Who IS SHE anyway?  Why did I allow HER negativity to affect me so much?

It's 'cause I am obviously still working on myself.

I have lost a total of 118 pounds (according to the highest recorded weight) and even though it has taken 2 years of REALLY hard work....My insides have a LOT of catching up to do.

If I went by "ideal weight"...I'd be 105 pounds...Yeah...In an IDEAL WORLD, where I'm not almost 40 years old....Had SIX babies...and had perfect genetic background.

Charts--Graphs--And Ignorant Doctors can bite me.

 Negativity has NO PLACE in this new body.


Thursday, March 13, 2014

"To The Fatty Running On The Track This Afternoon"

This was taken from a Facebook user....And while it COULD be a made up story...I wanted to address it anyway.
Via Facebook

First of all...Who do you think you are?  You may be lapping this person, but WOW....I think you totally have WAY too much time on your hands....

To first off address the person as "Fatty"...You show NO COMPASSION--In fact you are nothing but a school-yard bully....who twists and turns your way out of trouble, by manipulation!

Judgmental--Sterotypical--And just plain mean.

I bet that "FATTY" isn't looking up at YOU, because they see YOU looking and judging them and making up some stupid scenario  - while your perfect body whizzes around the track effortlessly.

I am one of those people who was ashamed to go to the gym, because I was "too big".....I thought people would stare and whisper about the "Lard-Ass" who couldn't last more than 10 minutes on the elliptical machine....AND YOU...just proved me right.  Shame on YOU.

But you know what....?   People like you, haven't stopped me.  Go ahead and make your assumptions about late night snacks and beer guzzling (none of which I take part in...)   Because YOU don't really matter.  I have dealt with ignorance my entire life....And you....Are just another bug, to be flicked off my shoulder.



But...NOT because of YOU


Thursday, March 6, 2014

Our Visit With ENT

This has been a long time coming.  Do I dare say I was excited about this visit?  (I use the term 'excited' loosely.)

Our family has a love/hate relationship with the ENT.

4 years ago...It was an ENT who would initiate the diagnosis of Neurofibromatosis in my oldest child.  First doing allergy testing...Then, treating several bouts of Strep Throat....Further investigation would discover hearing deficits...leading to an MRI, discovering 2 masses on Bailey's auditory nerves.

It was a whirlwind of memories....

Us being a family that is familiar with Neurofibromatosis...I ALMOST expected the diagnosis.  ALMOST.

With tumors being discovered on Bailey's auditory nerves, the doctors went back and forth about a diagnosis of NF1 AND NF2....Which has been termed as "IMPOSSIBLE"....And we have STILL battled with the possibility of this being what Bailey is dealing with.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking about NF being the reason Rachel and I were at this appointment.  In the back of my head I'm saying a silent prayer, that Rachel's issues weren't related to NF...But in the long run...When you HAVE NF....EVERYTHING is related.

When we meet the nurse and doctor...I find myself SO HAPPY that I didn't have to spell out NEUROFIBROMATOSIS.  In fact, everyone we came into contact with today, knew exactly what it was...And how to spell it! (Thank God for the small things - right?)

A detailed history was taken....Including the 6 positive strep tests...And endless amounts of antibiotics that were taken, that never seem to quite cure the infections.

But - it only took our doctor a few minutes of looking into Rachel's mouth to see...that WOW...her tonsils are HUGE.  And "Abnormal Looking"....The size of "Golf Balls".....

Yeah...We've been told this many times before....Only to have the doctors tell us that tonsils are not removed routinely anymore....and they give us the "let's-wait-and-see" approach.

Just a LITTLE Frustrating!

Our doctor said...."Ummm Yeah....that's not happening here....Let's get Rachel fixed up!"

Music to my ears!

Speaking of EARS....we were sent down to have a hearing test...Since Rachel has been complaining of constant "noise" and "ringing"....And that test was also "abnormal"....And our doctor tells me that it could all be connected to the tonsils/adenoids.....

Makes Sense...

I was asked about Rachel's sleep habits....and was FINALLY able to speak to someone who put this CRAZY puzzle together for me.

Rachel's sleep habits....Um....Well...

To start, Rachel has night terrors....and very VERY restless nights.  There are times that she gets out of bed...and just stands in the middle of her room, SCREAMING.  She literally tosses and turns the entire time.....

And the SNORING.....

So the Doc places this thing around Rachel's nose  (CPAP type thing)  and hooks it up to a monitor....And the we were told that she has AWAKE apnea....Which means almost 100% that Rachel has SLEEP APNEA.....(further testing will be done AFTER the tonsil/adenoid surgery)

We also had the doctor take a look at Rachel's nose....

Rachel gets VERY frequent bloody noses....USUALLY brought on by her temper tantrums.....I mean MAJOR GUSHING nosebleeds.....

I guess Rachel's veins are "ABNORMAL" too.  3 or 4 times the size of a normal 11 year old girl.


So -- Cauterizing the vessels in Rachel's nose, will be added to the list of things to do while she is getting the tonsil surgery...YAY...One-stop-shop!

On top of ALL of this...Our lovely ENT wants Rachel to have an MRI.  She felt some "abnormal tissue" around the neck area..."Thickening" she called it....Which made me think of a family -- whose blog I follow, who also JUST visited an ENT...and is dealing with tumor-y complications....



Rachel and I left feeling HAPPY...or....at least.....relieved that SOMETHING was being done!

We stopped at the vending machines and got a soda for the ride home and talked about how much Ice Cream Rachel thought she could eat.....

"A MILLION TONS", she says.....

I guess we'll see about that!   :)