Gymtimidation

I am FAR from what someone would call a confident person.  I avoid crowds.  I don't have very many friends.  Conversations with me are short and sweet.  And if I am invited to a party (unless it's a child's party) I try to find a way to get something on the schedule and be "busy" that day.

People generally make me feel uncomfortable.

I don't know what it is....I am a nice person and loyal friend, but if someone I don't know comes up to me out of the blue, I act like an anti-social weirdo.

Like for instance today at the gym.

I was minding my own business....15 minutes into my 30 minute elliptical cycle when this man came up to me to say "Hi".  Hmmm.....No One usually talks to me at the gym (I'm often with my husband....) So this was just kinda weird.....He smiled and stuck out his hand......

Ok....I'm on this ELLIPTICAL MACHINE....A machine (at least for me) that requires both hands....Both feet and....Concentration on my coordination!  Sooo...Uhhh....CRAP....What do I do?  Ignore him?

I unplugged my earplugs and managed to shake his hand and watch as he got onto the machine next to me.  

UGH!  Seriously?  

  

I push through...catching this guy looking over at me and smiling.....15....MORE....MINUTES....I keep chanting to myself.....15......MORE.....MINUTES!!!!

My comfort zone was pushed to its limit....But I kept remembering this quote that rolls around in my head, every time I get discouraged....Every time I feel like giving up.....Every time things don't go my way....

HECK WITH COMFORT ZONES!

My Comfort Zone Kept Me FAT!

The "OLD ME" would have left the gym the moment someone decided to get on the machine next to me.....Even MORE....The OLD ME....Would have skipped the gym and headed to McDonald's.

My ENTIRE life (Until NOW) has been about other people.  What they thought of me....How I can get them to like me.....What they were saying about me behind my back......

I found myself on the elliptical - next to a man - who - Who knows what his intentions were.....Maybe he was just a nice guy, who saw a nice woman....and was just being friendly.....

THIS was NOT going to stop me from working out and finishing!  I mean....We were BOTH at the gym for the same reasons...Right!?

So I finished.  And I finished HARD.

THRIVE ON!

Neurofibromatosis Awareness

A little late....But....

Who's That THRIVING Girl?

My hubby has a blog and it's not a weight loss blog.  But he faithfully checks in with his readers about once a week, to keep him accountable for how he is doing on his journey with weight loss.  And I will say...He has done AMAZING!  Sure - he has more "off days" than I do....But, I am so impressed with his focus and dedication to a healthier him! Check him out HERE

He and I have essentially been on the same "diet" for the last 2 years.  We have been low-carbing and working out at Planet Fitness...And I found my sweet spot in doing kickboxing a few times a week....

But today....Was the very first time we actually worked out TOGETHER.  Him spotting me....Then me spotting him.

It was amazing!  Sure we have been at the same gym....at the same time...and occasionally catch each other's eyes from across the floor....But today was different.

I felt Supported and Encouraged.  ( I feel this way a lot...but sometimes a little something EXTRA is needed when it involves weight loss )  :)

An amazing switch, from how I feel when I workout alone.

Without the LOVE and ENCOURAGE from friends, family and people I don't even know, THRIVING would be just a dream....I wanted to THANK ALL OF YOU....The people who leave encouraging comments....The ones who "anonymously" read and walk away feeling better about life, the many who defend me when someone is less-than-nice...and even the ones who are frustrated and angry with life....ALL of you have helped shape me into who I am today.

Feeling a bit MORE THRIVING than usual!

MY Review On A Book Review

Today - I wanted to address a book review that someone left about "Thriving with NF".  This review caught me off guard for a few different reasons....First, and most obviously, because it basically trashes me.
I have gotten my share of hate mail, but this went on a personal attack level, that made me feel that either this person is just so angry at life, that anything positive just pisses her off.  Or that maybe she just feels the need to personally attack people trying to make a difference.

Secondly, it seems like this person failed to realize that this was just a glance into my life....And how NF affected ME...My book wasn't written for educational purposes at all.

You can read the review directly by clicking HERE



(Quoted from www.goodreads.com)
"As someone with neurofibromatosis I can say with some degree of certainty that this book is pathetic. The author claims to be "thriving" with NF. In my opinion it is a pathetic plea for sympathy. I have the condition too. The author was either too lazy, too selfish or just too pathetically stupid to take the time to research her condition. Even after passing this gene on to her children she took very little time to become informed about the condition. She neglected to learn or mention that the gene for NF is a dominate gene and that she sentenced half of her children to a life of uncertainty. No mention was made of the way it can affect a persons life. No attempt was made to educate the general public on NF.
If you want to actually learn about NF I suggest you go to the website CTF.org. You will actually learn something there.

She seemed to revel in the fact that NF was a condition that qualified her child for a free trip to Disneyland. 

The book is only as good as the author. In this case pathetically stupid."

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Let me address the fact that I don't ask for ANY sympathy.  I simply told my story, in hopes that it would make people feel less alone in the world of NF.  Growing up, for me, NF was a curse word.  It was what my brother had...and it was what tore my family apart.

This reader - didn't seem to understand that as I grew up....My symptoms were ignored.  I saw MANY doctors throughout my life that NEVER ONCE recognized that I had NF.  In fact I gave birth to 5 babies before ANY doctor mentioned NF!

"Lazy, selfish and Stupid"....?  Call it what you want.

AFTER MY diagnosis and finding out that 3 of my 6 children had NF.....I TOOK EVERY SINGLE MOMENT I COULD TO BECOME INFORMED ABOUT THE CONDITION!

My book....WAS NOT an education tool about NF....Instead, it was a look into a life where NF snuck its way around....Affecting me in ways that went undetected, until I became an adult.

"No mention was made of the way it can affect a person's life".....?  Excuse me?  The ENTIRE book was about how if affected someone's life!   For MANY....NF isn't diagnosed at birth...or at 2, 3 4 yrs old.  This was a BIOGRAPHY!

To the person who left the review,

I am sorry you felt the need to personally slam ME for living a THRIVING life.  I am doing everything I can do, to live a positive and fulfilling life....and also give my children the opportunity to do the same.  

Yes....I LOVE the fact that our family got to go on a trip to Disney....Not BECAUSE of NF, but because it gave our family the opportunity to make memories together, that didn't include Drs, or MRI's.

I take full responsibility for bringing children into this world that have a medical condition.  I am teaching them to be strong- positive people who understand what NF is....Since I was never given that by my own parents.

I agree...If people reading my book want to know more about NF, that they research it through other means.  AGAIN-My book was never intended to be an educational tool.

I hope you find a way to be happy in your life...BUT- don't BASH people who are already doing it!

THRIVE ON!

Talk About DYSFUNCTIONAL!

Character is what you do when you think no one is watching, or listening.

Four days ago, a teacher at our oldest kids' high school called and left a message asking why we opted Bailey out of the ACT test.  Her message said that it was a "State mandated" test and that she would have to make it up. (Not true, by the way, you can opt out of ANY test - you'd think they'd know that.)


As she went to hang up the phone...The call didn't disconnect.

I was able to 'listen in' on a conversation this teacher was having with another teacher....Calling our family dysfunctional....and how she couldn't understand how our family would keep "reproducing"....Creating MORE dysfunction.....

How <her - the taxpayer> would be the one footing the bill of our dysfunction for the rest of her life.

Then laughing.....Saying that at least it was "Job Security" for them (or for us, It's not completely clear, but either way, a classless an clueless conclusion).

My first thoughts after hearing over-hearing the message was -- That I couldn't believe that a teacher that I had grown to respect could say ANYTHING that hurtful...I had to replay the message a few times, just so I could clearly understand the words that were being thrown around about my family....and then laughed at.

I have known this teacher for 3 years.  She seemingly took Bailey under her wing and set in place a GREAT schedule for her and told us it was her job to ensure the IEP was being followed. The fact that it hasn't been followed is, frankly, fodder for another post entirely.

The school administration took action quickly, and assured me today that she will NOT be back, and that the counselor on the other side of the conversation will be investigated as well, and my kids will no longer report to him -- But this brings little comfort to me, as she was going to be retiring in May anyway.  Her words are forever OUT THERE - and the knowledge of how she really feels about our family, about my children - makes me wonder how well she ever did her job, how much she ever looked out for Bailey & Braden, and how many other students didn't get the true care they deserved because of the attitude hiding underneath her public face.


I have heard from people high up on the school board....That things like what happened to our family, happen ALL THE TIME....And that just breaks my heart.

I will probably never speak to this teacher again....Or hear her reasons for saying such cruel things about my family....But in case --By some chance she reads this blog post....

Dear Mrs. Norman,

I am so sorry you have such bitterness in your heart about my family. I know that WE had only respect for YOU.  I have sent you many e-mails, telling you how much I appreciated all that I thought you had done for us.

If I could I would wave a magic wand...So that people with disabilities would never be thought of as a "burden"....or...Like you said -- someone that YOU (the taxpayer) had to take care of the rest of their lives.

I hope you have a nice retirement....And are reassured that our "dysfunctional family"...Will go on to do GREAT THINGS.....Even if YOU don't think so.

I wish you well,

Kristi Hopkins
CONTINUING TO THRIVE WITH NF....Despite people like YOU, who think we shouldn't..