More on Depression
It's a known fact that people with Neurofibromatosis suffer from depression. I mean who wouldn't be depressed with having a condition that alters you physically, and causes severe, uncontrolled pain?
Sometimes I still find it hard to accept that I was "tagged" with this disorder...and sometimes I still find myself wavering in my explanations to others, about what is happening to my body.
I am a work in progress....I continue to strive for the honesty, rather than the hiding or flat out deceiving others about my NF. Not because I no longer can "hide" my NF, but because it honestly feels good to talk to others about it. When I can teach another human being, and have them look back at me, with shock and amazement that I am 'doing so well' , I get an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness.
I don't take any medications for my depression. Mostly I take accountability for my actions and push through it. But I tell you what, it is HARD to do. I find myself struggling with keeping my moods even, and my spirits up.
If I could find a magic pill to take that would keep me happy, I would....but I honestly feel that there are no magic cures for depression. It takes a lot of acknowledgment and responsibility to manage your moods. Accountability and realizing that you are not alone...and sometimes, the hardest thing of all....reaching out to others.
My New Year Goals:
To Acknowledge I am NOT alone :)
To be a friend to EVERYONE--even the stinky /jerky people :)
To THRIVE with NF, in everything I do
To finish / publish / and sell my book
To donate and support CTF
To continue to support my fellow NFers! (I love you all)
To go to NIH and have surgery, and arrive home safely
To lose 30 or more pounds
To support the changes in my hubby's career
To help my kids THRIVE and stay healthy
Post your NEW YEARS GOALS!!!
Happy New Year
The only goals I have I have in mind are:
ReplyDeleteTo pass my last test to get my inital teaching licence
To get my driving license
To lose weight (even though I make the that one every yr, lol)
Kristi,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your up lifting spirit. Words are so easy to say but living them is another matter. I try hard to stay positive but at times I have a real pity party. We all ask the question "why me". Life is not fair and will never be fair. We will never understand how come we were the chosen one to live with NF. I keep telling myself it could be worse. I would kill to have the skin that I had as a youth. You just cannot turn back the clock. We can only go forward with our lives and be good Christians.
Happy New Year to all your family. Your kids are just adorable.
I self published a book about living with my husband who was an alcoholic and living with NF. Kind of my life story. So hard to find anyone to publish a book. I felt better after writing my life story. Not a great book but it is "my story".
ReplyDeleteKeep working on that book. It can be great therapy.