I'm used to being stared at. People look at me because I am carrying a 6-pack of kids, wondering how (or why) I do it. Or sometimes I get people looking at me wondering about my disorder.
Yesterday, I took two of my children out to run some errands, stopping at the Doctors, the bank, then Wal-mart.
I definitely have days where my NF seems more noticeable then other days( probably more to ME than to others)...and it seemed this was the case yesterday.
I had a nurse behind the counter at the doctors office look at me, snicker, then look away. I am very sensitive to this and I KNEW what they were looking at. I fixed my hair over the tumor on my eye brow and shifted my eyes to the ground. I finished my business, frustrated and wondering how and why people could act this way.
Our next stop was the bank where I made some deposits. We decided to walk into the lobby, instead of using the drive-up, since the kids needed to use the potty. I walked up to the teller and she looks at me and gives me this unpleasant, pity look, avoiding my eyes. "What the HECK?" I think to myself. She must see the tumors too. "I'm a freak!" My pulse was raising at the ignorance of these people. I just wanted to get my errands done and get home!
One more stop and I COULD get home. Wal-mart. I needed to stop and pick-up my contacts, so I went right in the vision center and sat down with a very nice lady to get my new contacts. She says to me, "Honey....Do you know you have paint or marker on your face?"
I looked in the mirror and saw a big purple streak running up the left side of my nose up to my forehead! Yeah. Nice. Seems the marker fun I had with Brooklyn that morning carried over that whole day.
I spend so much time worrying about what others think of me...I wish I would learn to just chill out and not worry so much.
So that's my Wacky Wednesday Story....I can look back now and laugh....I'm kinda wondering why my 5 yr old didn't point out that mommy had purple on her face....but maybe to him, that's normal....which is kinda cool!
Have an AWESOME and COLORFUL DAY!
I felt bad for how I automatically assumed the worst in others. I felt ashamed that IF in fact they were looking at my tumors, that I couldn't just hold my head up and just stand up proud.
ReplyDeleteIt shows that I still have so much growing to do...But I am trying. :)
that's funny! But if I were the teller I'd at least have the decency to tactfully tell you that you have marker on your face (about 1,000 times less embarrassing than broccoli in your teeth!)
ReplyDeleteI love your stories.
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