Surgery Today

Afraid, Apprehensive, Discouraged, Nervous, Disheartened

Is how I am feeling this morning, as I get Bailey ready for the hospital.  We keep getting congratulated for this WONDERFUL surgery that will remove Bailey's port access, which I do agree is a good thing....But, we are not having it removed because chemotherapy was this HUGE success, and we are moving on with life...

We are getting it removed because the port access hardly ever worked...And because, our year 

long treatment plan is over.

The tumor is still there.  The tumor is still bigger than it was, when we began treatment a year ago.

Tomorrow...Bailey will begin a whole new course of treatment.  A fairly new type of oral chemotherapy that is supposed to work well with the type of tumor Bailey has...AND, 'NFers' tolerate it pretty well.

Afraid, Apprehensive, Discouraged, Nervous, Disheartened 

While I continue to feel these feelings today...I also feel HOPEFUL.

It's that HOPE, that keeps the 'Thriving' in me alive.  So even while those scary, negative feelings may try to consume me, (if I focus on them, that is) I can still focus on that hope, that I always carry with me...And as I focus on that hope...I can feel it growing bigger and BIGGER....Then suddenly, all those negative feelings disappear.

THRIVE ON!