I remember my first roller coaster. I was 8. I stood before the GINORMOUS set of tracks, that twisted and turned....And even went in a loopy loop. As I stood in line, with my older brothers, who were SO excited -- I silently prayed that something would happen to get me out of this....
Maybe I wouldn't be tall enough....
Maybe I could pretend to be sick....
Even today, I build in a THOUSAND excuses for just about about everything I do. Don't do. It's AMAZING....The amount of excuses I come up with. Now these are legit....Excusable excuses, and get me out of doing anything I don't really want to do....So I'm not really hurting anyone.
Or am I...?
Have you ever done anything that makes you scared...? But you do it anyway...? Like some unknown force is drawing you to the other side of that scary thing...?
We get comfortable in our lives...At least I do....And the MOMENT I am challenged in any way....I want to fall apart. To withdraw. To run. (In the opposite direction!)
This is true with everything in my life.
Exercise - Speaking - Church - Marriage - Kids (I could go on and on)
I don't like to be challenged....Or taken out of my comfort zone.
Heck, just putting myself out there online is sometimes a challenge. (And I have this computer screen to hide behind)
Challenge is difficult. It's MEANT to be. It's meant to steer you in a direction that makes you grow...And learn....And even sometimes fail (which is where the learning comes in)
When it was our turn to get in the roller coaster car....My brothers sandwiched me, and pushed me forward! I WASN'T READY!! I NEEDED MORE TIME! I WAS SCARED!
I was SURE I was going to fall out......I was sure that the roller coaster was going to get stuck....And that I would need to be rescued.
We sat down in the car...I was belted in....And AWAY WE WENT.
I remember shutting my eyes and screaming. Hanging onto the bar in front of me for dear life! I remember my brother telling me and he wouldn't let me fall out.....He put his arm around me..."See...? I've got you."
But halfway through our ride....BOTH of my brothers hands were in the air.....And I was left with just a belt and a bar to protect me!
I screamed louder and LOUDER....
And before I knew it....The ride was over.
As my belt was released...I opened my eyes...Looked around.....I was okay. I survived.
"Let's GO AGAIN!!" I squealed.
We went on that roller coaster 7 TIMES!
There's nothing wrong with being scared of the challenge – as long as you're willing to feel the fear, and do it anyway. It's all part of Thriving. With NF, with anything.
I may be afraid, but hey, BRING IT!
Thrive ON!
Kristi, I just can't anymore. The older I get the more I realize I'm not very passionate about anything.There's no thriving for me. I'm not meant for anything big. Just an average life with an average job and an average husband. What's the point? I'm just too tired to try anymore. I was never meant to dream big. This is how my life is, and that's okay. I never thought I'd have a life that involved a husband or a job or a car or anything. NF has let me have low expectations. I just don't care though, you know? It could have been so much worse. I know it could be better but I dont have the energy. Rx don't help. Exercise doesn't help. Trying to find joy in little things don't help. I don't care for roller coasters and I don't care to travel. I just want to feel normal. Like my brain is wired right and I don't always feel like this.
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