Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Turn it around Tuesday

I remember puberty....It was not pleasant. I was awkwardly, plump. Wore glasses, and didn't know it then, but I had Neurofibromatosis.

I was constantly made fun of and tormented during the most fragile times of my life. Fingers pointed, rocks thrown...

The constant moves made the issues even more difficult, because I had no friends, no roots, and no real place to call home.

I vowed, even as a adolescent to grow into the type of person, that would never treat anyone with the type of disrespect I had been shown. I knew I wanted to be a mother, and promised my future children, that I would do everything in my power to protect from from the cruelty I was experiencing.

But, now...that I am a mom. I see that it is impossible to protect your child from the outside world, and the meanness it can bring. All I can do, is teach my children to be strong and to stand up to what tries to bring them down.

Everyone, at some point deals with being made fun of. I remember one particular day in junior high....I was walking home from school, when some boys got behind me. "Why don't you look normal?" "You're so weird!" another boy said. I just remember walking faster and faster.....it didn't matter how fast I was going, they always seem to keep up. "Come on fatty, we're just having fun!" My face was red and hot.....It was a LONG walk home, and I wondered if they were going to follow me the entire way......One boy scooped up a rock and threw it at my back pack. The others laughed and began picking up rocks to throw at me. "Let's see if we can make her run!" Just as the boy said that, one big rock hit me in the head. I turned around and the boys ran away. The throbbing pain I felt as I walked home, pulsed through my entire body. I never wanted to back to school. I was done. I was embarrassed. I was mad. I was hurt.

But I did go back....I faced those boys, and even today...I face people just like that, who throw rocks of criticism at me everyday. We can choose to face our battles....even though, some days--we want to run from them. I know the road is hard....scary. But running from what scares us leaves us heading in the wrong direction, leaving us lost.

One at a time, we can change the future ...by helping to teach others, that it's okay to be different...even okay to be "weird". In fact I THRIVE in knowing I am different.
I wish I had someone telling my 13/14 yr old self, that it was okay.....That I would be ok...but I am here now....hopefully changing the future for my children, so that they will NEVER have to endure the same kind of pain I did.

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