More About This "Contest"

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you would do almost anything to get it?

2 1/2 years ago, I was desperate.

My life then was about just surviving day to day.  Weekly chemotherapy treatments for my oldest daughter had me spinning.  Wondering what the next MRI scan would tell us.  While - at the same time, trying to keep some sense of normalcy for the craziness at home.

Worry--Guilt--Anger--Sadness--Fear

Comfort food made Bailey and I feel better.  Plus it was EASY to just go through the drive-thru on the way home from the hospital....And not-to-mention, it was "our thing"....A kind of celebration, for making it through another blast of chemo.  As long as Bailey was feeling good...I figured, why not feel good together...?

But - It was one comment made by Bailey that would go on to change everything....

The chemo bag hung over us, like a looming, dark cloud.....

We were both scarfing down the room service Chili-Cheese Fries that were delivered and watching cartoons...When Bailey looked over at me and said....

"Mommy....When I die....I want you with me."

Good grief.  I choked on my mouthful of fries....Almost unable to breathe or move.

How does someone respond to that...?  At THAT moment....I realized that I was facing TWO death sentences in that hospital room.

What was I doing to myself...?  To Bailey?

The plate of fries, that was resting on my ballooned stomach was mocking me.

I doubt that Bailey had any intention of believing I would die before her....Or the cause of that death being from obesity...She was just making a simple statement of wanting her mommy by her side, every step of the way....

But it was THAT MOMENT. THAT DAY.  That I woke up!

That next Sunday happen to be a WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE that our church began... I stepped on the scale....

Fast Forward to today....

Low-Carb/Atkins has changed my life....And brought me 117 pounds lighter!  Waking up - meant I TOOK CONTROL. I TOOK ACTION.  The 'something' I wanted so badly began to happen....It transformed me!

My excuses...Became completely worthless.  

I took on what it truly means to THRIVE....I feel it now....More than I ever have before.

Readers....I am asking a favor....

Atkins has this wonderful contest that I entered....Which means, if I win....My story will be spotlighted - for millions to see!!  I get excited just thinking about it!

What if....Someone - who faced all odds.....Who had EVERY excuse in the book.....Someone who is living with a life-long, progressive disorder SWEPT this contest!?  For ME...It's much more about winning prizes....But a CHANCE to show the world that NO MATTER what a person faces, ANYTHING is possible!

That's where YOU come in....

Please click this link (HERE) PAGE 10 (it changes)

You will NOT be spammed - or asked to sign up for anything.

If I win...I promise to do Neurofibromatosis....And all those who are dealing with this disorder proud!

Please share...and vote daily (Until August 18th)

Thank you SO much!

Why Am I Doing This?

I'm not going to name names....But a person close to my heart asked me a question the other day that got me to thinking....Actually....It got me MORE than thinking....It sort of ruffled my feathers a little bit.  Now if this person is reading this post...I mean no disrespect and I LOVE you tons...And maybe possibly, this was EXACTLY what I needed.

This person asked me "So...Why all of a sudden are you exercising and losing weight...Why the new obsession...?  I thought you looked fine the way you were."

This took me by surprise because:

1.  Nothing is "all of a sudden" about me trying to lose weight.  I have been struggling with my weight since Junior High...and have Yo-Yo'd around the scale since forever.

2.  If I were to continue on the path I WAS on....I'd either be dead....or seriously and dangerously obese.

3.  I may have "looked fine"...But I wasn't.  I was miserable.  I was tired.  I was just getting through the days and was extremely depressed.

So after the conversation with my friend....I got into my car and the song 'Girl on Fire' by Alicia Keys came on the radio....I found myself singing to it and feeling unbeatable.

All the WHY's of my journey surrounded me.

1.  My "new" Hobby--Obsession has helped me feel worthy.  I NEVER felt like I COULD feel good about myself.  The tumors/freckles/birthmarks all held me back...whispering lies like how it wouldn't matter if I lost weight...The tumors would always be there, reflecting back at me from the mirror chanting that I would ALWAYS -- NO MATER WHAT...Be ugly.

SCREW THAT!

2.  I may have "looked okay"....But seriously....Excusable Fatness?  I'm sorry....NO WAY.  I'm no fitness expert....But there is no planet in our universe that would say it was okay for my 5'1" frame to carry over 240 pounds.
DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT-- was my ONLY OPTION.

The wall I was facing - Being that 240 pound woman was CRAZY.  And it scared the crap out of me.  But I'm doing it.  I've DONE IT!  Day-By-Day.

3.  I am in no way the most confident person in the world.  Heck I can barely carry on a conversation with someone....BUT...What I feel INSIDE...WOW.  It's a type of rush that can only be understood by people who have done it.

4.  FAT is no longer my best friend.  Seriously.  I counted on my fat for everything.  Now....It's up to my MIND..MY SPIRIT...and MY HEART...and I have to say, it's a MUCH better relationship!

5.  Once I got rid of the excuses was when my journey REALLY took off.  When results began - I knew I had to go all the way.  The only thing keeping me from being better...Was ME.

Knowing I can keep up in a kickboxing class...or Run 3 miles in a half hour pushes me forward and helps me never want to look back.

WHY am I doing this?

Because DOING THIS is BETTER than NOT DOING IT!

THRIVE ON!

Doctor Doctor - Give Me The News

I know most people can't say that they are excited to see the doctor...But I was.  I was SO excited in fact, that I had a completely different blog post already written, in anticipation for this visit.   Let's just say...this visit...didn't go as planned.

First...Why-in-the-world-would-I-be-excited-about-seeing-the-doctor??

Well aside from being sick with a cough for 3 weeks and needing refills on my prescriptions, I wanted to be able to "OFFICIALLY WEIGH-IN" on a medical scale...And possibly have the chance to brag a little about how much weight I have lost. 

I didn't want high-fives...or a parade ... BUT I DID want something other than what I got.

"Hmmm You're overweight" The DR says as she walks in the room....(no --'hi... how are you?')  "Are you watching your saturated fats...?"

Wait....WHAT?!

My heart sank.

"Have YOU looked at your charts Doc.?  What is the last weight you have?"

She tells me 203.

Then tells me that according to the "Ideal Weight/Height Chart" I was still considered "overweight"...and that "I had a ways to go".....

COMPLETELY missing the fact that I was 80 pounds lighter than the last time I was seen.

I'm sorry....But my balloon was deflated!

I know it's not the doctors job to make me feel better about myself....

Wait.  YES IT IS!  That's what we PAY them for!

I couldn't believe it.  I was crushed....Hurt....and feeling like ALL THAT HARD WORK I WAS DOING DIDN'T MATTER.

(I know it DOES matter...But the doctor got me to a place I never wanted to be)

Who IS SHE anyway?  Why did I allow HER negativity to affect me so much?

It's 'cause I am obviously still working on myself.

I have lost a total of 118 pounds (according to the highest recorded weight) and even though it has taken 2 years of REALLY hard work....My insides have a LOT of catching up to do.

If I went by "ideal weight"...I'd be 105 pounds...Yeah...In an IDEAL WORLD, where I'm not almost 40 years old....Had SIX babies...and had perfect genetic background.

Charts--Graphs--And Ignorant Doctors can bite me.

 Negativity has NO PLACE in this new body.

THRIVE ON!

Low Carb Diet and Neurofibromatosis?

This is an opinion based blog post.  

All results are varied and unique to you.

Please seek a doctors advice before beginning a diet / exercise program. 

Winter 2011 

(200-something pounds)

I started 2012 out FAT.  Well....I've always technically been fat...But when I stepped on the scale in February, I didn't have a pregnancy to blame for the number that came up on the scale.

Our church began the F.A.S.T. program - So my weight was now a matter of public records and I couldn't have felt more ashamed.  Thoughts of Middle School came flooding back.  My gym teacher had everyone step on the scale- for "PHYSICAL FITNESS MONTH".

All the girls peeking their heads to get a look at how much everyone weighed....And I was first in line. 

"God - Save me from this torture!"

I was laughed at.  I was called every fat name in the book....And now that the other girls knew my actual weight....I was called "Buck-Fifty", which thankfully, not everyone understood.

20 years later...

I was MUCH MORE than "buck-fifty", and I had excused my weight on anything I could find...KIDS, STRESS and even having Neurofibromatosis.  I've lost and gained weight many times and felt awesome when I'd shed the pounds...I even got a my lowest point ever, just before I found out I was pregnant with my now 7 yr old son.... But the pounds always came back and so did the excuses.

Growing up, my weight has been like a coat of armor--It protected me from boys liking me...It made it so my bumps weren't so obvious...So, in my own little way, I actually preferred being fat.  And as an adult, it had become accepted...Normal.

It wasn't until I became a mother, that I realized how much being fat was affecting everything in my life.  And when that number popped up on the scale in February 2012, I was hit with the realization, that my armor MUST come off, if I was ever going to be truly happy.

I began with seeing my doctor....And when THAT scale, confirmed what the other scale said....I KNEW it was time to change my life!  I had a physical and blood work done, and was given the "OK" to begin my new life!

That day...My husband and I began low-carbing. 

I have researched low-carb diets and tumor growth and have found conflicting information, so I decided to keep track myself and note any differences with my current tumors and/or growth of new ones.

Here's what I found.  Low-carbing has had NO SIGNIFICANT affect on my NF.  If anything, my tumors actually seem smaller than they were BEFORE the diet.

Here's another cool side affect of Low-carbing....

I've lost more than 70 pounds!

Fall 2012

Down 70+ pounds!

I can't express how much better I feel...I have joined a gym and get there as often as my busy life will allow me....And I am DONE with excuses.  I am DONE with wearing armor.

If I am going to SPEAK a THRIVING attitude....I am going to LIVE a THRIVING attitude!

I still have about 25-30 more pounds to lose...And it's happening. :)

If you want to THRIVE....You have to get up and JUST DO IT!  You can't give excuses, because there will ALWAYS be a 'good reason' for not doing something.

Typical Day

Breakfast- 2-3 Eggs with Salsa and a sprinkle of cheese

Lunch- Spinach salad with tuna, hard boiled egg and a low carb ranch dressing, broccoli, and a sprinkle of cheese

Dinner- Chicken breast with skin, side salad, hard boiled egg 

Exercise

Depends on the day

Walking to and from the school- Twice a day

Gym 30 min on treadmill

Kettle Bells-100

Weights

Bike 20 min