Monday, January 25, 2010

Motivational Monday


It's tough hearing that something may be wrong with your child. Even though I knew that my daughter was "different", hearing it from someone else made me feel so hopeless. But I was ready...ready to finally hear the test results that basically analyzed my daughter from head-to-toe.

As the school psychologist, Special Education teachers, and IEP group sat across from me, and unloaded the inch thick information to me, I felt the room spinning. I didn't want to hear what they had to say...but I knew I had to for my daughter's sake.

My oldest daughter is 14 yrs old, and she has struggled in school, since the beginning. Year after year we had her tested in all academic areas, to try to get her some help, but she always falls just above the line, disqualifying her from getting any help. Her issues continued to get worse, year after year, this year being the worst yet.

When the group began talking, what they said did not surprise me at all. "Tests don't lie", one in the group said. "We feel that Bailey definitely qualifies for services." (Duh? Ya think?) "Further testing shows.......". I went into a blank stare and just nodded in agreement.

The words swirled around my head like a merry-go-round--"Autism", "Aspergers", "Depression", "ADD". I wanted to run from the room and hide from the fear, that these words brought with them. "No...Not MY daughter!! She just needs some help in school....She isn't Autistic! " My mind was flooded with thoughts, and denial.

But I shut my eyes, and took a deep breath. "Thrive Kristi...Thrive", I thought. Thriving isn't just for me, and my NF... it doesn't stop there. It's so much more than just me. It's everything around me, everyone around me.

My daughter needs me to be strong for help show her that she too can THRIVE, with whatever it is that is trying to stop her from what she wants to do. She is looking to me, to help guide her through life.

As I left the meeting at the school, part of me felt peaceful. Sure we now have this new "block" in front of us to deal with...a new set of diagnoses...but instead of the Block...keeping us from THRIVING, we are using it as a step, to get to where we want to be.

Bailey will be ok. NF, Aspergers, ADD--whatever it is we have to deal with, we will deal with. Nothing will stop us from achieving our goals, and nothing will stop me from trying to be the best mommy I can.

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