This move to Denver has been awesome so far. We attended a great church, that felt "right". I always worry when I meet new people....I wonder, "Will they take one look at me and shy away?" "Will my appearance affect my friendships?"
My security level, with my appearance is often times at a low. The tumors growing on my body and face make me feel horribly self conscience. So I try to compensate, this by gravitating to children. At least THEY aren't as judgmental.
My friendships with people have not been the best....I have lots of friends on-line, but when it comes to face to face friendships, I'm not sure what happens. I try so hard to keep a healthy relationship going, but it always seems to crumble, leaving me wondering, if I unintentionally push people away.
But last night, while at a 4th BBQ, no one there judged me, or really even stared at me. They accepted me...for me.
Some at that party are my friends on Facebook and read my blog, so they know some of the issues our family is facing, so maybe it was easier for them to look past what is so obvious to me.
For the first time, in a long time....I felt comfortable having Neurofibromatosis. It was almost as if, it didn't matter.
I feel okay, explaining NF to those who don't understand it. I am okay with my diagnoses, and will fight hard to help my children feel okay with it too.
People with NF just want acceptance and understanding...but sometimes we have to fight to get it. If you give up the fight, you will only succumb to this disorder and it will drag you down.
For me and my family, the ONLY option is to THRIVE.