Sunday, August 16, 2009

Motivational Monday

I'm finding it harder and harder to come up with inspirational or motivational things. Truth is, lately, I have been quite depressed. I created this blog, and the daily challenge of writing, so that I could keep my feelings in check. I want to keepmyself from going down the road that takes me into the darkness. I have been down that road many times, and even though it's very familiar, I always find myself lost.

I have to trust more, worry less. Hmmm. easier said than done. It's in my nature to worry and stress over things that I have no control over. In fact, if you trace back to my family tree...It's in my genes! My Grandmother, my Mother and me.

It's one thing to worry about money, jobs and bills. It's whole whole different thing when you are dealing with such an unknown and progresive disease like NF. Its tight grip on my children often makes me fall into the "why me? why this?" pit. How can I look into my children's eyes and really tell them what's happening? The tumors, the pain, the constant Drs visits, the eye trouble, the teasing...How can I possibly protect my children the the constancy of NF?

I pray every night...every single moment I can, that God keeps their bodies strong...and their spirits stronger. I pray for God to give me the strength to give them what they need. To be able to answer their questions with honesty, love and respect. And, as I deal with my own NF, I pray God watches over me....Giving me the chance to watch my children grow up.

So, I guess my 'Motivational Monday', is simply that I am here...I wrote, just like I promise I would. We all have to choose the paths we go down....will you choose the one that makes you feel lost? I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies of all time, "Sleepless in Seattle". To all my new friends....Have a GREAT week!

"Well....I'm going to get out of bed every morning. Breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out."

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