Thursday, August 20, 2009
"Mommy, why are there bees?" Having a conversation with a 4 yr old can be a fascinating thing. "They are mean and they sting me."
"We have bees, because they pollinate the flowers. They give us honey. And they feed the spiders."
"WOW! Well, then why are there spiders? They are creepy and crawly and scary."
I can see where this is going, and the story of 'There was an old lady who swallowed a fly', came to my mind. I smiled and took the lead on this one.
"We have spiders to feed the birds, sweetheart." My sons eyes filled with amazement, "Wow, mom you're the smartest girl I know!" I then asked HIM, why he thinks we have birds.
His response melted my heart. "'Cuz, they are so pretty, and there are so many kinds, they fly and make the world so great. Just like people do." "Well why do people make the world so great, honey?" I ask. "Cuz God made em." he says.
So simple, a child's mind, yet so profound. What is it about the way a child sees things, that makes everything so wonderful? Why do they always see the good and amazing? My son didn't KNOW the bees were "bad", until he got stung. He didn't know spiders were "scary", until he saw his mommyshriek, as one crawled across the floor.
Just like in the story of Adam and Eve. It was only AFTER they sinned, that they became shameful, hiding from God. It was THEN that right and wrong...good and evil became something to worry about.
As we grow up, our mind is molded by what other people say or think. I knew nothing about NF, until I heard my mother curse it. I was taught to fear it, hate it, dread it. I was taught, that I should cover myself up and feel ashamed.
It was only after my official diagnoses, that I had to reach deep down, and pulled out a strength that exists in everyone. I saw how angry and tormented my mother was, and vowed to never ever let myself become like her.
Switching the thoughts in my mind wasn't easy...In fact I have to work at it every single day. But just as my son now looks at bees and spiders in a different way, I look my Nf in a different way too. Instead of something scary, or creepy, I see beyond and focus on the beauty of the creation itself.
I too, have a purpose in life. And so do you. Don't be ashamed of who you are....or afraid of what could happen. Choose to reach down into that place, where the child lives, and pull it out. And see the amazing creation that you are.