I Just Want To Feel Beautiful

 

 

THRIVING with Neurofibromatosis: Sometimes, I Just Want to Feel Beautiful. 💜

There are days when I look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back at me.

Neurofibromatosis is changing my body, and no matter how hard I try to embrace those changes, sometimes I just can't.

The tumors keep coming. One after another. And with each new one, I feel like I'm losing another little piece of myself.

The physical pain is exhausting, but the emotional pain? That's something entirely different.

I see the stares. I notice the uncomfortable glances. I feel the judgment, even when no words are spoken.

And sometimes, I feel ugly.

There. I said it.

Sometimes I hate putting on makeup because it doesn't hide what I wish it could. Sometimes I envy women who seem effortlessly beautiful. Women who can walk into a room without wondering who's staring.

I long for that kind of normal.

And yes, sometimes I get angry. Life feels unfair. I didn't ask for this. I didn't choose a body that continues to change in ways I cannot control.

But here's the thing about THRIVING.

Thriving doesn't mean I have to love every part of this journey. It doesn't mean I have to smile through every painful moment or pretend I'm always strong.

I'm human. I'm allowed to hurt. I'm allowed to grieve the changes in my body.

I'm trying to find beauty in myself beyond what the mirror reflects. Some days, that's incredibly difficult.

I don't need pity. I just wish people understood.

I'm still me. Still worthy. Still beautiful in ways I'm learning to recognize.

And even on the days I don't feel it, I'm still trying.

Because sometimes, THRIVING simply means refusing to give up on yourself. 💜

— Thriving with Neurofibromatosis