Thursday, August 20, 2026

Neurofibromatosis, Pregnancy, and Choosing Hope in the Unknown

 Pregnancy is often described as a season of joy, anticipation, and beautiful dreams. But when you live with Neurofibromatosis—or love someone who does—pregnancy can also carry a fear that is difficult to put into words.

Alongside the excitement comes an aching question: What if my baby inherits this condition?

Neurofibromatosis is unpredictable. It can affect each person differently, even within the same family. One person may experience relatively mild symptoms, while another faces tumors, chronic pain, surgeries, learning challenges, or complications that change the course of everyday life. That uncertainty can make the decision to have a child feel incredibly heavy.

The fear is not simply about passing on a gene. It is about wondering whether your child will someday struggle. It is imagining appointments, scans, difficult decisions, and moments when you may feel helpless. It is the possibility of watching someone you love experience challenges you understand all too well.

Then comes the guilt—the kind that can begin before a baby is even born.  I remember, after my own 'official' diagnosis, the weight of the guilt was overwhelming.

You may question whether it is selfish to want a child. You may wonder whether you are making the right decision. If your child does inherit Neurofibromatosis, you may blame yourself, even though genetics are not a moral choice and love is never something that needs to be justified.

These feelings are real. They deserve to be acknowledged, not brushed aside with easy answers or forced positivity.

But there is another truth that deserves space, too: no parent is ever promised certainty.

Every pregnancy begins with unknowns. Every child enters the world with a story that has not yet been written. Parents can make careful decisions, ask questions, seek medical guidance, and prepare as much as possible—but no one can predict every challenge or protect a child from every hardship.

That does not make the fear disappear. It simply reminds us that uncertainty is woven into every human life.

A diagnosis may become part of a child’s story, but it does not have to become the whole story. A person with Neurofibromatosis is still capable of joy, love, laughter, purpose, accomplishment, and deep connection. They may grow up to become an artist, a teacher, a parent, a friend, an advocate, or something they have not even imagined yet.

They are not only their scans, tumors, symptoms, or medical appointments. They are a whole person with dreams, strengths, quirks, talents, and a life that holds endless possibilities.

Living with Neurofibromatosis can also create a kind of strength that is difficult to explain. For me, growing up with a mother who blamed god, blamed herself, and blamed everyone around her, for the consequences of her choices...I also had a choice to make.  Follow her road to the never-ending road to no-where, or make the choice to live beyond the fear- and stop being a victim. 

Living with NF has taught me resilience, compassion, patience, and the courage to keep moving forward without knowing exactly what lies ahead. Those lessons are not easy, and I know- no one would choose the pain that life sometimes brings them. 

Still, beauty can grow beside difficulty.

I like to think that courage is not the absence of fear...But, maybe, courage is allowing ourselves to hope while fear is still present.

For anyone facing pregnancy while carrying a genetic condition, it is okay to feel excited and terrified at the same time. It is okay to grieve the certainty you wish you had. It is okay to speak with genetic counselors, ask difficult questions, lean on people who understand, and take the time you need to make decisions that feel right for you and your family.

There may never be an answer that removes every doubt. Sometimes, we simply make the most loving decision we can with the information we have.

Life has never promised us predictability. What it offers instead are moments—first heartbeats, tiny fingers wrapped around ours, laughter filling a room, and love that arrives larger than we ever expected.

Neurofibromatosis may bring uncertainty, but uncertainty does not mean hopelessness.

None of us knows exactly what the future will hold. We only know that life, even when complicated, can still be meaningful and beautiful. We know that people can face difficult things and still THRIVE.

We know that fear and hope can live in the same heart.

And sometimes, choosing hope in the middle of the unknown is the bravest beginning of all.


THRIVE ON



My grandson-
Jacen Michael



Sunday, July 26, 2026

Neurofibromatosis and Menopause

Thriving Through the Storm: 

Navigating Menopause While Living with Neurofibromatosis

 Living with Neurofibromatosis (NF) has taught me that life rarely follows a straight path. Every stage of life brings new challenges, and just when I think I've learned how to manage one set of symptoms, another chapter begins. For me, that chapter has been menopause.

Many people understand menopause as a natural part of aging, but when you also live with NF, the experience can feel far more complicated. Hormonal changes can seem to magnify symptoms that were already difficult to manage. Some days, it's hard to tell where menopause ends and NF begins.

Fatigue has become one of my biggest struggles. The exhaustion isn't simply feeling tired after a long day—it's a deep, overwhelming fatigue that can make even simple tasks feel impossible. Add in sleepless nights, brain fog, and unpredictable emotions, and it can sometimes feel like my body is working against me. *I have yet to experience "hot flashes...but I do feel like sometimes I would be happy sleeping on a bed of ice cubes- While Rich is huddled in blankets.

Then there is the pain. Living with NF often means dealing with chronic discomfort, nerve pain, and tumors that can affect daily life. Menopause has added another layer, bringing joint aches, muscle stiffness, and changes that make my body feel unfamiliar. There are days when I wonder if I'll ever feel like myself again.  I'm lost in a menopause/NF fog.

One of the hardest parts has been the uncertainty. Research on how menopause affects women with Neurofibromatosis is still limited. There aren't many roadmaps to follow or answers that clearly explain what to expect. That uncertainty can be frustrating and, at times, isolating.  My tumors are multiplying - Can I stop this?  Or am I just doomed to accept it?

Despite these challenges, I refuse to let either menopause or NF define who I am.

Thriving doesn't mean pretending everything is easy. It doesn't mean ignoring the difficult days or forcing a smile when I'm struggling. Thriving means continuing to move forward, even when the path is difficult. It means learning to listen to my body instead of fighting against it. It means celebrating small victories that others may never notice.

I've learned that rest is productive. Asking for help is not weakness. Advocating for myself with healthcare providers is essential. Most importantly, I've learned that my worth isn't measured by how much I accomplish on my hardest days.

The NF community has also reminded me that I am never alone. Connecting with others who understand the daily realities of this condition has given me strength during seasons when I needed it most. Sharing experiences, encouraging one another, and celebrating every success—big or small—creates a sense of hope that no diagnosis can take away.

Menopause has certainly tested me. Neurofibromatosis continues to challenge me. Together, they have pushed me physically, emotionally, and mentally in ways I never expected. But they have also revealed a resilience I didn't know I possessed.

Every day I choose hope over fear.

I choose to keep learning about my health, to advocate for better awareness and research, and to support others walking a similar path. I choose to focus on what my body can still do instead of dwelling only on what has changed.

If you are living with both menopause and Neurofibromatosis, know that your struggles are real. Your exhaustion is real. Your frustration is valid. But so is your strength.

Our stories are not defined solely by symptoms or diagnoses. They are defined by our perseverance, our courage, and our determination to keep living fully despite the obstacles.

I am still learning, still adapting, and still finding my way through this season of life. Some days are undeniably harder than others, but every day I wake up determined to keep THRIVING with NF.

Because Neurofibromatosis may be part of my story—but it will never be the whole story.

 

Thrive On! 

                                        One of my preschoolers "decorated" me!

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

Grandma Kristi

 Becoming a grandma for the first time is a journey filled with excitement, love, and hope. From the moment I learned I was going to have a grandchild, my heart grew in ways I never imagined. I dream about tiny fingers wrapped around mine, bedtime stories, laughter echoing through the house, and watching my daughter become the amazing mother I know she will be.

At the same time, this journey carries a different kind of weight. My daughter has Neurofibromatosis, and with this pregnancy comes understandable worry and uncertainty. As her mom, I wish I could take away every fear she carries. I know she's thinking about her baby's future and wondering about things no parent ever wants to have to worry about.

I know how this feels--as I worried for each of my children...And even with them as grown adults- Continue to worry-

But I also know my daughter. I have watched her face challenges with incredible strength, resilience, and courage. Those same qualities will make her an extraordinary mother. No matter what lies ahead, this baby is already surrounded by unconditional love, fierce protection, and a family that will stand beside them every step of the way.

Being a first-time grandma isn't just about holding a new baby—it's about supporting my daughter as she begins this new chapter. It's about reminding her that she is never alone, celebrating every milestone, comforting her through every worry, and believing in her even when she doubts herself.

I don't know exactly what the future holds, but I do know this: love is stronger than fear. Our family has already shown that we can face difficult days together, and we will continue to do so. This precious baby will be welcomed into a family that loves deeply, hopes fiercely, and never gives up.

As I wait to meet my grandchild, my heart is filled with prayers, hope, and anticipation. No matter what tomorrow brings, this little one will always know they are cherished beyond measure. And my daughter will always know that I am beside her—today, on the day her baby is born, and through every beautiful moment that follows.

Becoming a grandma is one of life's greatest blessings. It reminds me that even in the midst of uncertainty, hope continues to bloom, love continues to grow, and miracles arrive in the smallest of packages.


I can't wait!!

MIMI loves you sweet baby...and I can't wait to meet you!




Sunday, July 12, 2026

Neurofibromatosis Summit Denver 2026

 I wasn't sure I wanted to go.  I mean, I've been kind of out of touch for the last 10 years (probably more)  But...

A friend of my husbands had a extra ticket...So I was being nudged to go.  

 May be a graphic of text that says 'LA NFSUMMIT NF SUMMIT CHILDREN'STUMORFOUNDATION UNDA CHILDREN UMOR FOU ON ON POWERING COMMUNITY ADVANCING PROGRESS IN NF'


One of the most meaningful parts of these events, is of course connecting with others that are dealing with Neurofibromatosis...But time, life and just general business, has kept me away.

Rachel was able to come with, and I am really glad she did.  Going to these types of events can actually make one feel more isolated, even though - It's supposed to do the opposite.

 I brought my books with me...But the books are old news, so I was over thinking that as well. 

A few hours in....I was thinking about leaving

Then, I met up with a little girl, diagnosed with NF.  She was immediately drawn to me and Rachel (something about us being preschool teachers probably had something to do with this)  

Her grandma came looking for her and found the little girl, hanging upside down on a chair next to us. We laughed...This reminded me so much of when Rachel would be at Children's Hospital, getting ready for her MRI...So cheerful.  So full of excitement.

Rich's friend, Tom, introduced us to each other and mentioned my book..."It's filled with great stories about Kristi's children, who have NF just like her" (pointing to the little girl)

The grandmother perked up and grabbed the book!  "I want this...and you have to sign it!"

That feeling...

Started stirring inside me. 

I've missed this feeling.

The feeling of making a difference.  Even a small one.

A few minutes later...A gentleman was at the booth, looking at my book.  Tom told the man "Kristi Hopkins is here, and will sign that for you, if you like"  he pointed in my direction...

The man got very emotional...He turned to me to tell me that he was so happy I was there...and that years ago, he had read some of my book and that I was one of the first people that helped him through his diagnosis.

I signed the book, hugged him and we friended each other on social media.

There it was again.  The stir...In my belly!

I want to get back out there.  I want to help make a difference for those living with NF.

I have a lot to say....and I know what I want to say....Someone needs to hear! 

 

So here I am.  Still THRIVING 


Monday, July 19, 2021

Ok....This is SAD!

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I just can't seem to get myself motivated to blog...or be active in NF groups anymore. When I try....I witness so much negativity...so much anger....And I don't know, just so much misinformation.  I want to jump in and say stuff....But, I just feel like the effort isn't worth it.


That HAS to change.  I mean, what has 'THRIVING with NEUROFIBROMATSOSIS' become?  


I'm going to wipe off the cobwebs and just do this.


I AM still 'THRIVING'  - Just not as actively.  (how dumb)


Quarantine is over...and basically, things are going back to 'normal'.  And I have been working as a preschool teacher for over a year,  I love it.  When I say this...I don't mean, it's a great job....I mean...It's a PERFECT job!  

I have wanted to this exact thing, since I was a young pre-teen, going to work with my mom.  She loved what she did....and it showed.  

So when this opportunity came at BH....I was so excited!

Speaking of my mom.

She has been dead now since Dec 1st of this year...And I just can't get used to the idea that she's gone.  

I hate death.  I hate that things just keep going.  I miss her so much.  I want to call her up- to ask for advise - I want to thank her for all of the really cool resources I am using, thanks to her.  I literally inherited an ENTIRE schools worth of supplies!

I'll do a separate post about my mom...and what happened to her.


For now, I re-joined a few NF groups....and I will slowly start to get back involved.